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Sorry for the delay in posts! I'm moving my study abroad blog to tumblr, which is infinitely easier and more convenient to use than blogger. Here's the link: http://bringitbeijing.tumblr.com/

#StudyinginBeijingproblems

Sometimes a day doesn't start so well and ends well. Sometimes a day starts out very well and doesn't end so well.

Today was the latter.

The weather was truly beautiful today, due to the huge thunderstorm from last night. The skies were clear and blue, it was sunny and warm, and there was a breeze. Work at my internship didn't seem as long and tedious as it usually does, and I had a pretty good lunch (noodle soup with pork and a few pieces of bok choy) at a random restaurant.

My friend in this program told me that the depression of culture shock comes after a high of excitement. I think I pretty much followed that today. When I was on the bus on the way back to campus, I was with two other interns: one American-born Chinese guy from my program, and one Chinese girl who was born in China. The Chinese guy can speak Chinese fluently, so of course they chatted in Chinese while I listened. I could pick up some of it, but mostly I just listened and guessed and asked some questions in English if I was sure I knew what they were talking about. But mostly, I just felt left out.

It's not exactly a new feeling for me. Because I can't speak Vietnamese or understand it, I'm always left out when my relatives or other Vietnamese people around me speak Vietnamese to each other. But in those cases, my sister is usually with me, and she doesn't speak Vietnamese either. We usually end up talking to each other or (in the case of some dinners) just leaving and doing our own thing. It's ok to be alone if you're alone with someone else.

Not in this case. There's something very alone about being in a country of people who look like you but speak a language you don't know. You blend in, but feel apart. Usually when that happens I'm with another American who doesn't speak Chinese, but on the bus, there was no one else.

And then when I got back to campus, none of my friends were free to have dinner with me (they had class or I couldn't contact them). I tagged along with the Chinese-American guy and we had dinner with one of his friends (they both go to the same university in the US). Afterwards, we went back to the dorm and chatted with their friends (all of whom go to the same university). They knew each other before the program, so they're good friends already. I just listened and took it all in, but not having anything to contribute. The problem is that many students in my program go to the same school because their school originally created the program. A lot of the students knew each other already. I, on the other hand, had to make new friends right away (something that has always been difficult for me). I don't have that kind of easy-going comraderie, something that I realized when I observed them talking to each other and bantering.

Add on the issues that 1) I couldn't do much-needed laundry because I don't have the 1 yuan coins needed to operate the machines and it's too late to get them now, 2) when I asked my roommate where to get the 1 yuan coins (I've never seen them here, only the 1 yuan bills), she acted like it was obvious so I felt stupid (if there's one thing I don't like, it's feeling stupid because intelligence is my only advantage in life and the only thing I can do well), 3) I have a ton of homework to do and no time to do it (while other students are going out and partying every night somehow), 4) I'm behind in Chinese because an email that my teacher sent last week never reached me so I didn't learn everything I needed to know for the last class, and 5) I haven't had enough sleep because I've been studying late and waking up early for class or my internship.

When everything piles up like that, it's daunting. It's depressing. And if there's another thing I really don't like, it's feeling sad. My default emotion is neutral optimism (it's safe), usually leaning towards cheerfulness or reaching excitement when I'm with my close friends and I know they won't reject me if I act too weird (here, there aren't a lot of options for friends so I try to be careful not to lose the ones I have). But I rarely do anger. I rarely do sadness. I do frustration pretty well, but that's usually followed by sadness unless I pick myself up again to neutral optimism. I have learned from family, friends, and other people that extreme emotions (anger, depression, etc.) can be toxic to the person and/or the people around that person. My life, and the lives of the people around me, doesn't need more drama or stress. Somebody has to be dependable. Somebody has to be that person who doesn't emotionally throw up on other people. That somebody is almost always me.

I was going to write about my new language partner, my classes, my internship, and going out last weekend, but I'll have to save that for another post.

Blue Skies

THE SKY IS BLUE. After two days of rain and clouds, the sky finally cleared to reveal the first blue skies I've seen since arriving in Beijing. The weather is perfect - warm, breezy, and bright. I hope it lasts for a couple days, and the smog stays away, but I'll take what I can get while I can. My friend Kimmi gets so excited over blue skies, so I'm sure when I see her she'll be ecstatic.

Yesterday was the last free day before classes, so some friends and I went to Ikea. It's just like the other Ikeas I've seen, except that everything is in Chinese (besides the usual Swedish). I was tempted to buy everything (Ikea always does that to me), but I limited myself to a quilt cover and pillowcase (36 kuai, or 6 dollars!). Also, there is no tax here. No tax, no tips.

After returning to our dorms and taking a quick break, some friends and I went to find some food. Across the street from the southwest gate, there's a street full of small restaurants and stalls. We found a pretty good place and ordered egglant and green beans, goose (my first), a vegetarian dish for a vegan friend, and crispy pork with bok choy (a popular vegetable here). All in all, we each paid 5 dollars, and we were full. We explored an underground arcade, which was teeming with people (it was in the afternoon on a weekend, so I guess people had free time), then went back to the dorm again. I opted out of going to a hooka bar/Turkish restaurant later because I had unpacking to do and a skype session with my parents, but after that I went with another group to get dinner.

We tried going back to place I went to for lunch, but it was closing so they made us leave. The next place we sat down at only served cold vegetable dishes and fish, which no one was in the mood for, so we left (I felt guilty because we'd already sat down and looked at the menu). The third place was very casual - you just order at the cashier, and they serve it to you. Someone ordered ice tea, and they gave us a huge jug; of course we only drank a third of it.

After that, I showed everyone the arcade place, which was a lot emptier than in the afternoon. We bought some tokens, and some people played a full-body version of the app Fruit Ninja. You basically use your hands/arms to slice fruit that flies across the screen. It's pretty funny to watch the person because it looks like they're flailing. I played a shooting game based on Rambo, then a game that was like DDR except that the arrows were pointing to the corners (instead of front, back, left, and right). Besides the steps, though, you also had to raise your arms (front, back, left, and right). My friend and I picked random Chinese songs but didn't do too well, although we were still better than our other two friends and the two Chinese girls after them. They somehow found English songs, so we told them to pick Mambo Number 5 (too bad I didn't have that option - I actually know the rhythm to that one).

A couple of extra stuff: even when the air isn't humid (because of the rain), a lot of people smoke, and they smoke everywhere. After an hour in the arcade, my hair smelled like smoke. I haven't been taking pictures and everything because I've been taking things in so far, and the more time I'm blogging or going on the internet, the less time I'm actually experiencing China. There's a white cat that lives in the office, but I just saw it for the first time this morning. It wandered around, crying (which reminded me of my own cats), then jumped up on a couch between two people and started grooming, then sleeping. It's adorable. Also, I've noticed that two other people have the same blog theme. I guess that means I should be a hipster and change it.

My interview is at 2 pm, and I think it takes about an hour to get there, so I'm going to get brunch, then come back to do some more interview prep. I'll ask for directions to the place, then change into my business clothes. One problem though: how do I sell my international relations-concentrated self to an an information sharing consulting company?

Orientation Weekend

Originally written on September 1, 10:35pm

The past two days have been somewhat of a blur, which isn't helped by the problem that my ethernet cable in my room has decided not to work on me (I'm not alone though; other students have said the same thing about their cables, though luckily my room is going to get a router). In the two days of orientation, I have been in some situations that are decidedly unique to China, and some that are definitely not unique to it.

Orientation wasn't as scheduled (or efficient) as I'd expected. Yesterday started with a tour around campus (some of it, anyway), and it was so fast that I barely remembered anything the first time around. We then went to a small (commonly non-air conditioned) room for the general information session, which was led by our program director, Dr. Sun. His credentials are pretty impressive, and his English is practically perfect. He definitely reminds me of a professor; he's thoughtful, sometimes joking, and slightly eccentric (later during the general information session for internships, he went on random tangents that were completely off-topic but interesting).

Then we had the reading, writing, and listening placement tests, which was followed by lunch. Some friends and I bought small bags of jiaozi (dumplings) for 5 yuan (less than a dollar!), which we ate with our hands. The general information session for internships was next (not very informative, but somewhat interesting), then the oral placement tests. I must have done decently on them, because I was assigned to class 301 (just as a reference, the other classes are 101, 102, 201, 202, 301, 302, 401, 402, 501, and 502). The classes are mostly broken up by the books they use, which a lot of other schools (Boston College, American University) use. I've only taken a year of Chinese (Chinese 1 and Chinese 2 at George Washington University) so I assume 301 is a good place to be.

After the tests, I waited with other students in a line to get my internship assignment. I was near the end because my oral test went long, and I ended up waiting an hour to get my assignment. Luckily, I met some interesting people and had some interesting conversations about Northern California vs Southern California, Beijing spiders, Texas, LA, and accents.

Since the other half of the groups went to the mixer at Pyro Pizza, my group was left to do whatever we wanted. And that meant going to the Beijing Walmart. I didn't bring my camera, but I wish I had - that 4 story supercenter has everything you will ever need in your life. It has groceries, bedding, appliances, electronics, you name it (their massage chairs were also a relief to use). We spent a lot of time there, and I ended up buying stuff that in the states would cost at least $30, but which cost about $18 instead. They also had these flat escalators between the floors, so that you could just push your cart onto the slope (it magnetically stuck to the surface) and just stand there until you got to the top (apparently some Ikea locations have this, but mine doesn't, so it was a novelty to me). Getting a taxi was frustrating though; many were full and in China, they're allowed to refuse to drive you. Dinner was a nice place (they had tablecloths, which was a plus) with 4 dishes split between 4 people, and which cost about $6 dollars for each of us.

Did I mention how much I love the conversion rate?

Today was a trip to Wudaokou for lunch at a nice place (we had so many dishes, I lost count), then wandering around a little at a huge mall, all the while maneuvering the subway system. Counter to my prior expectations, the subway system is clean, easy to use, and dirt cheap. Each one-way ride is 2 yuan (around 30 cents), no matter how many transfers you take or how far you go. The ads along the side are amusing. But one thing was what I had expected: the pushing people. I've taken the Chicago, Boston, and DC metros, and none of them have been as crowded. I was pressed body-to-body with people on a couple rides (not all, thankfully). And we didn't even go during rush hour (not looking forward to that next week).

We found out our language placements, I had to drop some classes and get new ones because of my schedule, I got a new roommate because my third one failed to show up, and then it was the mixer at Pyro Pizza. The pizza place was below ground, decorated like a combination between a pizza parlor and an American frat house. It was owned by Americans, which would explain the vibe. The pizza was pretty good (New York style), and somehow the program paid for everyone's free beer and Tequila shots. The evening turned into a typical college party (except the alcohol was free), with the most American songs you could think of playing in the background; I also witnessed what was possibly the longest beer pong game I have ever heard of.

Eventually some friends and I got tired of it, so we made our way back to campus. We had been walking all day, so by the time I got back to my dorm, my feet and legs were dying. The earlier walk had been enough, but the worst part of it was that the walk to Pyro Pizza was a half hour (one way). Of course, it was raining, so my feet were wet, but at least I didn't get lost in the city at night.

Everything is so...Chinese. The rain helped the humidity a lot (but made big puddles). Still no blue skies, though. It's permanently foggy/smoggy. The streets and sidewalks and buildings are like what I saw in the pictures, but it's more real now. It doesn't bother me that much, though; it reminds me of pictures of Vietnam, and that reminds me of home. Some people have complained that it's so tiring to hear Chinese and try to understand it all the time, but I'm used to that; whenever I go to the grocery store, it happens. Actually, whenever my relatives visit, it happens. I just learn to tune it out. If I want to try to understand what they're saying, I listen. If not, I don't try.

It's hard to sum up my experiences, and I'm leaving out a lot of details that add to the very Chinese-ness, but there's just so much to take in. I hope I don't get culture shock. I don't like depression very much. I heard that culture shock comes after someone is extremely excited and elated about everything; apparently their emotions plummet until they hit rock bottom. I'm kind of taking everything in stride right now, being pretty careful and being open to everything, so I'm not at the high point. Hopefully that means I won't hit rock bottom.